My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
