Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
