You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
