it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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