Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
