my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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