Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
