Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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