I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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