All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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