literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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