I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
