Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You were trust falling into bushes
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
