I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
