She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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