Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
