we have pet lesbian snakes
I just cut my nipple shaving
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
