I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
