you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
