I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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