Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
