if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
