i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
