My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I believe in your delicious
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
