Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
