Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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