im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He has the fingertips of a God
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