no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
