New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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