its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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