Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
