Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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