I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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