I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I think your dad took our porno
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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