Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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