yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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