So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm getting married
To pizza
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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