Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
