OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
