try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
