I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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