plz talk dirty to me
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
