I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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