....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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