Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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