I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
