What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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