"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
