he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
