I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
