Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
