this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
